Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
