i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
