I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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