Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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