dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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