i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
