Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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