He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
