i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
