she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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