Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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