Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
