If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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