He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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