I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
