Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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