hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Randomize