Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Pants are for mortals
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
