either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
