its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
