see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
