why didn't you poke me back
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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