you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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