He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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