you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
