Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
