I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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