More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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