will power is for people who don't want to get laid
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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