The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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