Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize