brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
