My nipple is on Facebook.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
