Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
