how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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