I love black thongs
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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