i permit you to call me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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