seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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