God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
