sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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