Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
