i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
