i permit you to call me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
