Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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