Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
