Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
