What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
