Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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