we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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