woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
