Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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