3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you will always have a special place in my vag
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you had me at cake vodka
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
