Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
