in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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