Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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