if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
